Y’all know how attached I am to the Golden State.
I daydream of the Sierras. And walking along the beach—any Pacific beach—playing with the waves. And eating the best street tacos this side of the border. Hearing multiple languages spoken in San Francisco. And sun—lots and lots of sun.
That said, it’s not that I dislike Manhattan, Kansas. I find it surprisingly easy to live in the Sunflower State, especially in this college town surrounded by rolling hills and the tall grass prairie. People are courteous. The sky stretches so wide I can sometimes see the Earth’s curvature and the different shades of blue. I’ve tried some of the best BBQ brisket and local collard greens. And there’s plenty of sun.
However, Kansas is not California.
To say that I was homesick would be an understatement.
Now that we’re three months into our sabbatical in Menlo Park, CA, you might wonder, “which do I prefer?”
Complicated, complicated.
Before I answer that question, a little context:
As unlikely as it might seem, MPC (Menlo Park, California) and MHK (Manhattan, Kansas) have much in common. Both are university towns with a population of approximately 100,000 residents. Valuing a vibrant, walkable downtown with unique small businesses, both cities actively seek public input to inform conversations about how to further a desirable quality of life. Community gatherings, such as free public concerts in local parks, provide opportunities for people to come together; and both cities encourage traditions like 4th of July parades and neighborhood Halloween festivities. Little Free Libraries pepper street corners. Public and private K-12 schools seem to be well-funded to the best of the communities’ abilities, and employ highly qualified teachers.
Additionally, both Stanford University and Kansas State University attract academics from around the world—my husband being one of them. The two research institutions have roots in agriculture. Nicknamed “The Farm,” Stanford is located on founders Leland and Jane Stanford’s original Palo Alto homestead. According to the Stanford Daily, the “founding grant decreed that ‘a farm for instruction in agriculture” should forever be maintained on university lands.’” Forbes says that “this world class private research university is renowned for its STEM programs, which have produced numerous Nobel Prize, Turing Award and Fields Medal recipients.”
Similarly, as the nation’s first land-grant university, K-State was “tasked with teaching agriculture, science, military science and engineering to any interested student, as well as seeking to better the lives of others through research and service” (K-State Traditions). While highly selective Stanford clearly has more overall prestige, K-State is ranked one of the top 10 Ag-schools in the country. Forbes says, “As a Tier 1 research university, K-State has granted over 300 patents and is home to more than 90 research centers and institutes, including the Konza Prairie Biological Center.”
Both universities seek to create knowledge. Both cities strive to create a high quality of life.
So how are MPC and MHK different? And which is better?
In my ever-so-scientific analysis, I identified five distinct factors. While numerous criteria exist (doctoral thesis, anyone?), the following determinants seemed to affect the quality of life in both MPC and MKH most strongly…and I wanted to keep this essay brief.
That said, let’s attempt to determine which is better, MPC or MHK:
1. Climate
MPC: Mediterranean
What this means: Even-keeled mild temperatures. An average high of 78 F in the summer and 60F in the winter. Okay, you might need a fleece jacket in the mornings and evenings, but for the most part, it’s t-shirt weather all year round. No snow!! Yes sun!! The weather isn’t discussed because it’s beautiful. Every. Single. Day.
Bonus: No chiggers.
MHK: Humid continental
What this means: Moody AF. I’m talking sun (7am), rain (10:30 am), hail (1pm), extreme heat (4:30pm), and a windstorm (7pm)…all in the same day. Average summer high is around 89F—make that 102F with the heat index—and 32F in the winter. Ask the Magic 8 Ball: will it sleet today, ruining Aunt Jean’s birthday picnic? Answer: Cannot predict now. Perhaps as compensation, Kansas does glorious springs and autumns, with unexpected bursts of color and tranquility. People talk about the weather because it’s all drama all the time.
Bonus: Fireflies.
Winner: California
People have thrived in the Bay Area for millennia for a reason: the climate.
2. Housing Affordability
MPC: Everyone knows that the Bay Area is expensive. But how pricey is the prestigious 94025 zip code? A two-bedroom unit averages $4150. That’s a bargain compared to neighboring Palo Alto, where a similar unit rents for $4819 rent per month, ranking it the #2 most expensive place to live in the US in 2022.
In case you’re wondering: The downtown two-bedroom/1-bath bungalow we are renting for our sabbatical is estimated to be worth $3 million.
MHK: A two-bedroom rental is MHK averages $950. While Manhattan is less expensive than Lawrence and Overland Park, this college town is still considered unreasonable by many multi-generation Kansans.
In case you’re wondering: Our 4 bedroom/3.5 bath home is currently estimated at $310,000, and we’re on the swanky side of town.
Winner: Kansas
It is possible to buy a lovely home and pay off the mortgage without a two-comma salary.
3. Food
MPC: Exquisite restaurants with price tags to match. A bounty of diverse flavors in lovely settings. French, Georgian (the country, not the state), Uigur, Mexican…you name it, it’s here. I could eat out every day and never taste the same seasonings twice. Farmer’s markets pop up nearly every day of the week, with growers commuting in from the Central Valley. Sensational grocery stores. And, it’s all excellent.
Bumper Crop: Lemon, fig, persimmon, plum, and apple trees grow in our back yard. Our neighbors raise tomatoes and chickens. Farmer’s market eggs for $10 a dozen.
MHK: Local farms surround the city. I know who grows my food, where it’s grown, and what’s harvested when. Sensational local greens at the Farmer’s market. For staples, there’s Kroger, Hy-Vee, and a handful of Asian/Mexican markets. Beef, chicken, and beer restaurants dominate, with Mexican and bread (!) eateries in a close second. The BBQ…mmmmm. What’s lacking in quantity is balanced out with quality. That said, it’s a little rough for vegetarians, vegans, and people who keep Kosher or Halal.
Bumper Crop: Apple, plum, peach, strawberries and blackberries grow in our garden. Heat loving okra and tomatoes will overtake the garden beds, if untamed. Neighbors sell eggs for $2 a dozen.
Winner: Tie
CA scores big for flavors, choice, and diversity. KS scores for locally grown, as in, you know where your farmer lives—your kid goes to school with the farmer’s kids—it does not get fresher than that. Both win.
4. Bicycling Infrastructure
MPC: Wide streets with designated bike lanes throughout the city. Clear, prominent safe routes to school…and about 400 bike racks at our kiddo’s middle school. Because our street is a major bike artery to schools and downtown, MPC plans to remove parking and install permanent bike lanes to make it safer for cyclists. That’s right: sacred car parking will be eliminated. On every block downtown, bike racks in forest green—lovely, stable, upside-down “U” fixtures. Packs of cyclists. Some even sing opera as they zip down Santa Cruz Ave.
MPC—University connection: Ride the bike bridge over the creek and along the designated paths to the fenced in, monitored bike parking at the Stanford football stadium.
Try it! Traffic lights have sensors at the crosswalks that flash when they notice a bicycle waiting to cross. Experience this at Sand Hill and Pasteur, from the Stanford West side.
MHK: With stop signs at nearly every block on the Bicycle Boulevard, and potholes the size of dinner plates, biking around town is a challenge. Some Safe Routes to School, but cramped bike racks for rebels (like our kiddo) who proudly pedal to school. Decent bike paths and bike lanes throughout MHK, but limited and haphazard. Why does the bike lane suddenly end….here? Bike racks are sometimes permanent, sometimes wobbly, sometimes nonexistent. Not so easy. Hopefully, the city’s quarterly “Tour de Taco” ride will encourage more cyclists…and infrastructure.
MHK—University connection: Unclear how to approach the Bill Snyder football stadium by bike. Once there, no bike racks—let alone a bike parking lot—at the stadium or Bramlage Arena.
Try it! Some traffic signals don’t recognize a bike’s weight…so the cyclist doesn’t trigger the light and doesn’t get to cross the road to go to the grocery store unless a Ford F-150 pulls up behind them. See for yourself at Claflin and Seth Child. Approach from the west.
Winner: California
The Golden State leaves the Sunflower State lagging way, way, way behind.
5. Friendliness
MPC: Are you talking to me? You are….did you just say that you are from Kansas (flinch)? I bet you’re glad to be out of there. But you don’t seem like you’re from Kansas…. Hmm…. Whatever. I have to dash back to Google now.
MHK: Hi! I’m Matt and this is Peyton. Hope we’re not bothering you. We saw the moving truck in your driveway and wanted to say welcome to the neighborhood. Here’s a plate of homemade cookies/brownies/crispy rice treats. Is that your kitty? Do you need a hand with that ladder? We know you’re busy with those boxes, so we’ll catch you later. Here are our cell phone numbers just in case you need anything.
Winner: Kansas
I have never lived with such courteous, kind people as those in Kansas. They take time to listen. And don’t interrupt. They will text you after a windstorm to check if you are okay. They will say hi and chat with you in the driveway on an evening stroll…even if they vote Republican and you vote Democrat.
Runner Up: the German-French-American community surrounding zip code 94025. Ihr seid wahre Freunde.
So which is better?
Both MPC and MHK have their charms … and their challenges. “Better” is subjective. Some people want that $3 million bungalow while others wish to live debt-free. Maybe you find windstorms thrilling. As my German friends say, Die Welt ist bunt!
Want to know what’s pure joy to me? Waking up to the sun peeking through the redwoods and enjoying coffee among the lemon trees. Our cat, smelling like rosemary from the bush under which she took a nap. Biking to Trader Joe’s. Seeing a coyote on a local trail.
That said, I’ve noticed that people in MPC are very….busy. Most neighbors do not stop by to say hello. Nobody hangs out on their front porch, despite the Sunset magazine-perfect gardens. Who’s got time for idle chit chat when you’re off to another appointment?
And, when I’ve been able to snag a free moment with someone, what’s up with passing judgment on me because I’m here from Kansas? Last time I checked, the Sunflower State was just as much a part of this country as the Golden State. For goodness sakes, wait ‘til you actually get to know me, as a person, before deciding that you know everything about me, especially my politics.
Maybe people are grumpy because they’re overstretched. If someone at Google or Meta gets paid an annual salary that’s 5 times mine, they’re expected to produce some spectacular results. Quickly. Perfectly. And that means working unsustainably long hours. Maybe their fat paycheck is meant to compensate for the pressure?
As a lowly English Instructor, I’ll never be able to afford a house in MPC without incurring massive debt, assuming I’d even qualify for a loan. It’s just that crazy expensive.
MHK does not have the money found in MPC. There’s no way the school PTO would suggest parents donate $2000 (I think our elementary PTO asked for $5). Jobs don’t pay as much, so there’s not as much discretionary funds for things like Uigur restaurants, open space trail maintenance, or even a year-round community swimming pool.
Instead, MHK’s focus is on community. Instead of a “me first” attitude, it’s a “we together” attitude. Besides being willing to chat, most people are decently courteous. They genuinely want to help you succeed.
Perhaps this is because of the god-awful climate. When the thunderstorm knocks out your power and you’re sitting in your basement in the dark, terrified, your friends or neighbors will probably text you, asking if you are okay. And they’d hope you do the same for them.
(When it’s sunny, these same people will gather together to create happy times, like playing D&D, tapping a new keg of home craft beer, or going to the local farm’s pumpkin patch—the one with the massive slide, not the one with the scary corn maze. And don’t get me started on tailgating before a K-State game….)
Truly, I’ve been given opportunities in Kansas that I don’t know if I would have had in the Golden State. People at K-State took a chance on my ideas, trusting that I would do my best for the English Department. More often than I can count, folks collaborated on projects, transforming mere daydreams into reality. Whether organizing school carnivals and kid’s German language classes, or cooking for hungry people and building a Little Free Library, the community turned out again and again to serve. Not always with money, but with their time and skills. And it’s that way throughout MHK.
As former head football coach Bill Snyder said, “the people of Kansas State are truly special … a different type, perhaps, than you might find on the east coast or west coast” (K-State Sports).
Courageous conversations can lead to greater understanding. And real change. But you have to talk with one another. And listen.
That said, access to money plays a major role in quality of life for both Californians and Kansans. Places that have money tend to attract more money. Areas with fewer monetary resources have to fight harder to create infrastructure. Often, this divide falls along urban/rural lines.
It’s hard to get venture capitalists to invest in what they consider “flyover country”. What happens when you have a good idea, but the opportunities are elsewhere? All too often friends move for better-paying or more multidimensional positions, especially in academia. Who can blame them?
But there’s good news. After many years of struggle, Kansas is finally experiencing “record-breaking economic growth for a second straight year—bringing the two-year total of economic investment to over $7.6 billion” (Governor). Yow!
However, Californians might scoff, maybe considering this growth pathetically laughable. The Golden State, after all, is poised to become the world’s fourth largest economy, surpassing Germany.
And MPC is near the top of the gold mine.
Imagine, for a moment, what could happen if Mr. Dollar invested serious money in places like MHK. How might Kansans respond to financial abundance? What opportunities would be created? Problems? Whose dreams would be given a chance to come true?
The Greek philosopher Heraclitus wrote, “change is the only constant in life.” MPC embraced this idea, thanks to the venture capitalists on Sand Hill Road, among others. Look at the rapid pace at which new iPhones and Teslas and Stanford healthcare technologies are being produced. MHK is changing, too, but at a slower pace. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Humans can’t control the weather. But we are responsible for how we shape our culture. And how we treat each other.
What is better, MPC or MHK? It’s complicated. There are trade-offs. Priorities to figure out. What is your goal? What will get in the way of your happiness? What makes your heart sing?
Because there’s room for both, depending on what you value.
And if we shared a little more, maybe this conversation would be a moot point.
So sink in to where you can create your best life. Even if it means a radical lifestyle change. If you’re prospering—whatever that means to you—then you’re in the right location, regardless of zip code.
Feel free to leave a comment below with your opinion 😊
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