Last week, the moving company packed up the five (5!) bicycles, Snow-Bear’s bed, and a bunch of boxes of stuff. The cat’s already back in MHK, probably sunning herself on the deck as I type. Good for her. This Monday–that’s in two days–Daniel and I begin our Great Road Trip eastward. Goodbye, Golden State. Kansas, here we come!
This evening, I hiked to the Grandmother Oak over in Coalmine Ridge Open Space Preserve. The tree that isn’t marked on any trail map but if you need to know her, you’ll find her. I leaned against Grandmother Oak’s massive trunk, finally able to s-l-o-w down. Cradled in her gnarled limbs, I felt some reflections bubble up, and I wanted to share them with you.
What I Will Miss About California
- Landscape — Great hikes 20 minutes or so from our apartment. The Pacific Ocean 30 minutes away. Mount Diablo. The Sierras. The way the Bay shimmers in the evening light. The Coastal Live Oak trees, the Bay Laurel, the Madrones, and the Redwoods. Only squished three chiggers this year.
- Asian Food — Bay Area Asian cuisine is phenomenal, period. Vietnamese Pho, dumplings, Farmhouse Kitchen’s Pad Thai (the restaurant team marched in the SF Pride Parade, y’all), Japanese sushi, Uigur noodles, even cheap Chinese eggplant from Chef Kwan’s…. I gained 15 pounds this year. No regrets.
- Friends — My heart feels incredibly happy to reconnect with dear friends, many of whom I have knows for over 20 years. So grateful that we made time for each other. So thankful that we want to maintain the relationships.
- The “Yes, Let’s Do This” attitude — There’s a uniquely growth-oriented mindset that assumes success. Something like, “we’re going to do this, so how do we proceed and what challenges do we have to overcome?” Some might call this a winner’s attitude or entitlement. I call it Yes We Can.
However, there is no sun without shadow. Even in the Golden State…
What I Will NOT Miss About California
- Wealth Gap — I can not comprehend how the world’s 4th wealthiest economy allows homeless tents and magazine-perfect mansions to coexist side-by-side. That it’s acceptable to not “see” homeless people in the park. Maybe because on some level, folks here know that if they lose their job, they could be that person in three months, and who wants to really acknowledge that level of despair. I don’t know. I do know that the PTOs in kiddo’s public school district raised over $3 million (you read that correctly)…for four schools, and yet other schools have Art on a Cart or no art at all. Class divisions are real, folks. Don’t believe me? Drive along Middlefield Avenue from Costco through Latino-infused Redwood City through blue-blooded Atherton. You’ll know immediately where the money is…and where it isn’t.
- Microaggressions — Californians don’t like Kansans. At least that’s what I conclude from these reactions when I say I live in Kansas:
- Flinching, jumping backwards, turning head as if I slapped them
- Saying, “But you don’t sound like you’re from Kansas.”
- Saying, “Buy you don’t act like you’re from Kansas. You seem normal.”
- Saying, “I need to know your politics before we can continue.”
- Not saying anything at all. Just staring at me.
- Cutting me off or overtaking me on the road, especially when traveling a distance in medium traffic. I guess that blue license plate with “Ad Astra Per Aspera” provokes some discomfort.
- Asking if I’m wearing red shoes
- Asking why I would ever want to live there (insert eye-roll)
- These are not one-off experiences. These happen Every. Single. Day.
- The marijuana clouds — if you’ve ridden BART into The City, or walked/driven through Oakland, you’ll know what I mean. I could care less if you smoke Mary Jane among your own four walls, but for Pete’s sake, some of us would like to be able to enjoy an outdoor cafe and not get a contact high. We’d like that for our kids, too. ‘Nuff said. (True story: I took my 80 year-old mother to IKEA. She sniffed the air and thought she smelled a skunk. She wondered if the poor animal was hurt under someone’s car tires. I had to explain, no Mom, that’s not a skunk. That’s marijuana.)
This has been a fantastic year, and I am so thankful for the opportunities to experience life in Silicon Valley. I’ve worked hard and intentionally.
What I Have Accomplished
- Letting go of old thought patterns that no longer serve me. Dead wood on a dead tree can provide food and shelter for birds and such, but dead wood on a living tree stunts the tree’s growth. This was my year of pruning “dead branches” of beliefs that were holding me back. I feel lighter and healthier. This tree is ready for new growth!
- Realizing that I AM smart — don’t laugh! Presenting my research at two conferences, auditing classes at Stanford, and delving into engaging conversations with some fabulously creative people have shown me that there are MANY paths one can follow….and I get to determine what “success” looks and feels like.
- Hiking with my husband — So many trails in the Bay Area. And they’re free! Our weekly Date Hikes took us to hidden swings (ssh!), springtime waterfalls, and into coyote territory (see my hiking post for favorites). Afterwards, a picnic lunch or stop at the Alpine Inn? Yes, please!
- Visiting places that are dear to me… like UC Berkeley, and Golden Gate Park, and the redwoods, and Vik’s Chaat Cafe, and Half Moon Bay, the San Francisco Pride Parade, and Torrance Beach, and teh botanical gardens, and we never made it Yosemite because there was too much snow but that’s okay because we filled up on many, many good things.
- … and reconnecting with people who I care deeply about — now that we’ve found each other again, let’s not let each other go.
California, you are in my heart, and I love you. Thanks for the great adventure. As we leave the Golden State for our Home on the Range, I know that you will be with me in my memories. Namaste.